Friday, April 15, 2011

A stick is only sometimes a stick...

Have you ever been walking along and suddenly your eyes come across the coolest stick you've ever seen? What do you do when you stumble upon such a gem? Well, you do what any normal person would do. You pick up the stick and pretend it's a sword! It doesn't matter who you are, when a stick is in your hand, on of the first things you want to do is twirl it around like a sword and pretend you're in an intense battle. Why is that?

Is there some deep seeded psychological explanation involving our hidden desire to be destructive, and cause harm to anything and everything in our path?...Phew...let me catch my breath...Or is it just the fact that swords are sweet!?

I vote for the sweet awesomeness factor. Now, when choosing a stick to go into pretend battle with, there are a few things to take into consideration.

#1 - Choose the stick that's right for you. Not everyone can handle the sword fighting stick, so there are different sticks for different types of combat. The lightsaber stick is about 3-4 ft. long and runs pretty straight the whole way through. Usually from an oak tree you get the real gnarly branches that twist every which way. These are good branches for a customized double sided halberd. My favorite type of stick is the Donatello style bo-staff stick. This one is pretty straight and runs about 5-6 ft. long. There are several other types of sticks to use, and you just have to find the right fit for you.

#2 - Is your stick Burley enough? No, your stick doesn't have to be so strong that a lumberjack can cut down a forest with it. You just need a strong enough stick that will hold up against your imaginary arch enemy. BEWARE OF CHEESE WOOD! It's pretty easy to spot. If you go to pick up a stick and it disintegrates in your hand, it's probably not going to hold up in battle.

#3 - Do you have the skills? Chances are, you don't. But that's okay, because you don't need skills to wave a stick around like a weirdo. It's all in your head. If you can imagine yourself as the greatest sword fighter in the world, or the stealthiest ninja assassin this side of Ponderosa, then you can be that in your fake imagination battle. That's the greatest part about stick battles. You can be completely clueless on the outside, and yet in your imagination, you can have the skills of Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, Darth Maul, and Bob Ross all rolled into one!!...Um...oops...with all that power in one place, I may have just caused a meltdown of awesomeness...be prepared for high levels of radness!

#4 - Stop reading this and seek out your excalibur!